Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
