Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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