I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
