We won't sleep together?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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