That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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