Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
