Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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