Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
