maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
