What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
They took my balls.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
