watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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