winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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