My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
