I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
These tits shall not be calmed
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
