I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Slut skills are useful in every country.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
