At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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