How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
