Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I didn't notice because vodka
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
