i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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