My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
