dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
