if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
