Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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