erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
