it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
