I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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