When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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