then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
