you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
