Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
