I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Semen is not good for contacts.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
