That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
