i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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