So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
