Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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