i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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