I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Is Oprah even human
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Randomize
