Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
