we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
