i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
