did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
