Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
