This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
