Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
