This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
