i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
