wat bout pragnant strippers??
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
