i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I could fuck to npr.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
