apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize