maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
