I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
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