Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
me + whiskey = a bad person
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Randomize
