At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
