ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
