How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
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