epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
