Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
