Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
