fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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